Happy New Year to all!
What a wonderful start to 2016 it has been. I know there was a specific topic for
January, but I felt drawn to talk about something different that I think many
fellow dance educators and dancers can relate to.
Over the past few years I have witnessed something that at
its core makes me sad. I have noticed
and been the instructor to children who at the first sign of “failure” have a
breakdown or retreat. I know that
getting upset with yourself if you don’t get something isn’t anything new, but
this is a bit different. We as dance
educators know that students will pick up things at different speeds and thus
grow in their abilities at different speeds.
We as educators know that, but do children and their parents know
that? The answer to that question is
both Yes and No.
I do think there are some children and some parents that
know this, but I think there’s a much larger portion of people today that do
not realize it. Why are children today
breaking down when they can’t get something right away or why do at the first
sign of things being challenging do kids run away or drop? I think there are many answers to this
question. First, in my opinion, society
puts an enormous amount of pressure on kids to succeed. Who doesn’t love it when your kid gets
straight A’s, places overall at a competition or gets an award for their
community service. I know as a parent
that I’m extremely proud when my child does these things. What I do think is missing is permission to
fail. I think we have to learn to be
better in that department. We need to
let children know that it’s okay if they didn’t master that new technique in
jazz class this week or that it’s okay that they got a B in a class as long as
they tried their best or that it’s okay if they don’t place overall at a
competition.
Second, I think kids put an enormous amount of pressure on
themselves. Kids today see shows like
Dance Moms, America’s Got Talent, American Idol, etc and dream of being like
those people on there. I think that we
live in an insta-world where we are used to having everything in a instant and
I think some of these kids who take class with us on a weekly basis think that
at the end of the semester they should be busting out double turns or switch
leaps. What I think has been forgotten
is the process. Most of those people on
those reality shows didn’t roll out of bed with all that talent, they worked
for their talent. Granted many have natural
ability, but hours were spent perfecting their craft. I try to tell my students all the time that
we all pick up at different speeds and not to be hard on yourself. We all get to finish line just at different
times. I had a child in my class this
year that burst into tears when we did a simple move across the floor because
she didn’t get it right away. I assured
her it was okay. I broke it down and had
her a few others do the movement a little slower. She was so scared to fail that for 3 weeks
she wouldn’t go across the floor. I
spoke to her at the end of each week to assure her that each week she was
getting stronger in her movement and that it takes time to master a new
genre. I also reminded the student that
she doesn’t need to give up. I might
also add that it was week 3 into class.
I had another student who every time we worked on turns (simple prep and
single turns) would have to go to the restroom.
I asked her a few weeks ago why she always needed to go to the restroom
when we started doing turns. I
encouraged her every week with what she was able to do and she was getting
stronger, but the pressure she put on herself to be just as good as everyone
else was too much and she dropped. I ask
myself as a teacher “Am I doing everything I can do to make sure every child
feels good about themselves no matter what level they are?” “Am I adding to
their stress and insecurity?” “Why are
parents not making children honor a commitment and allow them to quit something
halfway through and not seeing it to the end?”
I cite these examples because it scares me on some level
that we have a generation of children who are going to grow into adults and
anytime something gets hard they quit and walk away or hide under their desk
filled with such anxiety. So the
question I pose is what we as dance educators can do about this. I know for myself this is something in the
coming weeks I will meditate on. In the
words of my friend Darryl Retter – Dance is but a by-product of what we teach
within the studio. How can we use our
half hour or hour a week to positively influence a child?
